Is damaged goods. Is happy. Is not happy. Is the life of the party. Is lame. Is an animal lover. Is not a huge fan of people in general. Just is. Or am I? I'll let you be the judge? Everyone is doing it these days....=)
Were #cute..and the #lady to my left said I could cut her bfs balls off. I think that means were #friends. #galpals #tequilamakesherclothesfalloff #thisissuchawhitegirlthingtodo #thisiswhywearefriends #werecuteasfuck #tacos (at BelAir Cantina)
IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE
(via ambiezilla)
Eat that pussy and be grateful. There’s starving nice guys in fedoras who don’t have any.
(via ambiezilla)
(via comecuddlewiffme)
Women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat.
When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.
It reminds me of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” It also reminds me of something written by one of the mods of Sex Worker Problems: “Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.” (via tealeafprincess)
(via thingssheloves)
(via katskull)
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
(via serenadesofparadise)
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place.
for the constellations of your skin to brush against
the earth of mine
i would swim the seas a thousand times
(please let’s fuck now)
(via comecuddlewiffme)
#whiskey #cake #jackdaniels #alcohol #frosting #food #yum #foodofinstagram #homemade #housewifeshit #rainyday #jar #desserts #whoami ? #baking #bake #bitchesbelike
Sitting staring at cake I can’t eat. Bullshit.
Making #whiskey #chocolate #cake in a jar…with #homemade #buttercream #frosting. How am I not wifed up yet? Haha #jackdaniels #alcohol #food #delish
He’s sad we cant be tops off and tongues out. #carrides #dogsofinstagram #Australianshepherd #dog #stupidrain
(via titstatsandtuners)
